Anyway, by now I really needed to crap. I'd had enough of pacing around the forest looking for pittoresque places in which to lay today's contribution. I found an Amanite phalloide, or Death cap, the most deadly of all mushrooms, and considered including it in today's photo, but it was growing pressed up against a conifer as if shrinking from me. No, no, spare me, please... So I gave up and crapped on a mossy stump like any old patrolling polecat or pine marten marking its territory. Later I picked the Amanite phalloide and placed it beside my turd, thinking that the photo would have at least a certain pedagogic value. Every mushroom hunter should be able to recognize and avoid the amanite phalloide. But it didn't look right, this deadly little toadstool beside my shit. It was as if I was saying, danger, danger. Whereas my primary message, I reminded myself, was pleasure, crapping is a pleasure.
While I was ruminating on all this a swarm of flies appeared, out of nowhere, and began feasting. I realised that today's subject of course was flies. I'm sure they are important for the forest's ecosystem but I found them hateful, so many of them, so quickly, pigging out on my warm waste. When I leaned in to take the macro shot of their obscene feasting, several of them swarmed up and settled on me, rubbing their front legs. Ugh. They had been tramping across my shit and now they were walking on me.
Of course, the sight of all those excited insects caused me to think of the buzz that this blog has yet to incite. Perhaps this is an unfortunate metaphor but it is apt enough, in its way...
PS, if you look closely you will note that yesterday, approx 24 hours ago, I ate a salad with corn in it. I perhaps do not masticate sufficiently.
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