Tuesday, 31 August 2010

31 August 2010

Today's effort is nothing special, either. I am beginning to wonder if it is going to be as easy as I thought to come up with fresh and intriguing images daily. A turd is a turd, after all. And while each of my own is, for me, an unique experience, I begin to worry that, for my "followers", a certain sameness may creep in.

A challenge to which I must successfully rise.

No "followers", yet. I suppose they will appear soon. I get excited thinking about these new friends. I tried to imagine them this morning as I layed (laid?) my day's contribution. How old will they be, my followers? What sex? Nationality? Perhaps, it came to me this morning, I could invite some to contribute guest turds...

An idea. Though I am not sure if I want to share my blog with other, possibly unaesthetic, foreign turds. We will see. It is still, as I said, "early days yet".

Monday, 30 August 2010

30 August 2010

Really not very pleased with this one, either. So far I have not posted the kind of pittoresque or fashionably trashy turd pics that I had in mind when I created this blog.

Today's effort is what I call a rope turd. This happens when it squeezes out like toothpaste from a tube. As you can see from the photograph, this does not make for compact virile shits. In fact, I am a little ashamed of this unmanly one. It could have been done by a five year old. 

Place: a café downtown. I dislike this toilet. It is not very clean and because it is underground odours hang around embarrassingly. I like to rise up, snap my photo, and flush my waste into oblivium before toxic fumes begin seeping under the door out into the (very confined) room in which men urinate, wash their hands, and attempt to dry them under the noisy and largely ineffectual blower.

The paper in this toilet (when there is any) is cheap and raspy. I don't like this, either. It puts me in a bad mood. Also, today's crap was smeary. Smeary turds are one of life's small distressing trials. Sometimes, like today, the more I wipe the more mess appears, instead of the reverse. It made me reflect that if Evolution (or God, if you prefer) has so wonderously designed our bodies, how come we do not have click-shut anuses?

A bit depressed, today. I see that my blog has attracted no followers, yet. I suppose this is not surprising, as it is only 24 hours old. But although I told myself when I created it that I did not expect it to be read by anyone other than myself, of course I secretly hoped, and still hope, that friends, "followers", will manifest out of cyber-space, as they are said to, and that my turds will attract some excited buzz.

Well, it's early days yet.

Sunday, 29 August 2010

29 August 2010

This one is nothing special, a bit gluey, and the camera focussed on the twigs instead of the crap, so it's a bit blurry. I'm not proud of it, but one has to begin. I promise I will get better quickly.

I love a crap in the forest. A bird was singing deep in a bush nearby. A wren. I had only one bit of paper in my pocket, a screwed-up serviette from the café this morning. I shoved it up my arse, where it remained wedged until I could get home to clean myself.